Category: writings

40 Ideas for Lists of 40 Things

Posted on by motionblur

For her birthday fesitivity, my friend Vicki asked partygoers to bring a list of any 40 things, such as 40 favorite movies, 40 meaningful books, 40 songs etc. I was trying to think of ideas for my list and just wound up just making this list of 40 possible ideas for 40 Things lists …

40 Ideas for Lists of 40 Things

  1. 40 foods which, when eaten in sufficient quantities, will result in weight gain
  2. 40 breeds of dogs that are unable to perform even simple tricks, such as guessing the card you picked
  3. 40 things you should never name your child if want your child to have the same name as you
  4. 40 temperatures colder than 0° Kelvin which are attainable in the heart of a person who once said they cared
  5. 40 letters that were almost included in the English alphabet but were voted out of the final version
  6. 40 games from around the world where there are two opposing teams, a ball of some sort, a playing field, extensive discrimination based on race, creed, or sexual orientation, and a referee
  7. 40 movies that alien civilizations will probably hate due to uninspired acting and third-rate dialogue
  8. 40 books written in German that you need to know how to read German in order to read
  9. 40 ways the world would be different now if the internet had existed during the Middle Ages
  10. 40 reasons travelers should avoid visiting Yugoslavia, the majority of which relate to Yugoslavia no longer existing as a country or place
  11. 40 species of insects that are kinda just keeping to themselves harming no one, but that people would still like to eradicate for some reason
  12. 40 historical figures you probably thought were fully human
  13. 40 words that all mean the same thing: should have taken vocabulary more seriously growing up 
  14. 40 short stories written by Edgar Allen Poe that suggest the man may have suffered from mild to moderate paranoid schizophrenia
  15. 40 technology careers which will be obsolete in a few years due to massive flooding in major cities around the world as a result of climate change
  16. 40 wishes which would have some pretty hilarious unintended consequences if they actually came true, and also some which would be a bit less hilarious, such as the sudden annihilation of space-time and the abrupt disappearance of the universe and all matter and energy contained therein
  17. 40 things visible with an electron microscope that you will wish you didn’t realize were living on your eyeballs right this moment 
  18. 40 times people’s lives could have been completely and wonderfully different had they only checked their spam folder that one time
  19. 40 things you will probably never accomplish in life solely because a camel is required to do those things
  20. 40 classic films made in the 1940’s and 1950’s you probably didn’t know were almost all CGI
  21. 40 underwater adventures achievable only through the miracle of Splenda™️
  22. 40 metals that are delicious beverages at room temperature
  23. 40 javascript arrays that return array iteration objects containing the keys of the original arrays when accessed
  24. Top 40 songs of the year 2019 as predicted in 1962 and performed by the student orchestra at Timberline High School in Boise, Idaho
  25. 40 irrational numbers that could lead much more productive lives if they would only listen
  26. 40 jeans sizes listed in order of volume rather than waist circumference
  27. 40 educational children’s toys that teach the value of teamwork and sharing, and also contain human growth hormone for the development of strong bones
  28. 40 common kitchen tools and utensils made of metal and/or plastic that can be melted down together and reshaped into one large bowl made of metal and/or plastic
  29. 40 local AM radio stations which are actually being broadcast from the exoplanet Proxima Centauri b, approximately 4.22 light-years from Earth
  30. 40 one dollar bills you can exchange for a $40 bill at any bank in the U.S. 
  31. 40 fruits and vegetables which technically belong to the animal kingdom based on DNA genome analysis
  32. 40 questions to ask friends and family to find out what they really think of your habit of constantly asking irrelevant questions
  33. 40 world religions based on the idea that there exists one supreme being who is omnipotent, and another somewhat less supreme being who’s pretty much constantly bitter about the whole thing
  34. 40 things people would do if they thought they were invisible which offer rather disheartening insights into the dark depravity of the human condition
  35. 40 countries that border at least two oceans at the same time, which is really not that uncommon given how many countries and oceans there are
  36. 40 TED talks which are 40 minutes long or more, but which could have been summarized in a short paragraph or two for those who prefer not wasting 40 or more minutes watching a TED talk 
  37. 40 problematic behaviors of bonobo apes which are a direct result of increasing social media use and FOMO
  38. 40 stress management techniques which do not require reducing or otherwise moderating one’s alcohol intake
  39. 40 musical instruments that are really just devices to create percussive noises, which is hardly music if we’re being real here
  40. 40 top bluetooth headsets with integrated circuitry to specifically block the aggravating and obnoxious noise produced by leafblowers

The Big Island – A Peculiar Interlude

Posted on by motionblur

As I stepped off the plane, it was suddenly obvious – “THAT’s the reason they call it the Big Island!” I exclaimed to myself. Now, to be sure, I’d always had an inkling that part of the reason for the nickname had to do with the island’s purported superiority over its neighbors, in terms of square miles; a brief glance at any globe or world map would confirm that fact most conveniently. But there had to be more than that, I’d always thought – maybe the island natives themselves are physically larger than their Oahuan or Mauian counterparts? Their waistlines certainly were. Or maybe it was their hearts, or their wallets … and what if a few days in paradise revealed these to be one and the same? It was easy to guess, harder to investigate; but that’s exactly what I’d come to do.

I stepped onto the temporary stairway that had been wheeled up to the plane by airport personnel. It was sturdy and stayed put, but never quite offered the sweet sanctuary that solid ground always provides. The slightest wobble in its axis turned even the stoutest of confidences into a barely questioning remark, but a questioning all the same.

The metallic clang of each rung as it was commissioned into service by my steel heels echoed through the humid air. The captain had said there would be a 10% chance of precipitation; my senses told me it was more like 80%. Step by step I hoisted my rolling suitcase and then my backpack down to ground level. Two or three smiling workers in orange reflective vests were greeting each passenger as we passed by. My head was pounding from the roar of the jet engines and the dull depersonalization of the flying experience. We weren’t passengers – we were livestock, being herded from one pasture to another. Graze! Graze! And when you return to your own pasture, you can graze some more. Who are the people making changes? Who chooses the pastures and makes them beautiful, plows them and sows, grows the sustenance that the sheep chew on? That’s who I wanted to be. I wanted to be part of that process, the process by which land is regenerated, and beauty is restored. I didn’t want to be part of the flock any longer; I wanted to be standing on the hill, directing the growth of the lilies and the lily pads.

Passing through baggage claim, I made a mental note about the airport. Clearly, this was not the reason the island was referred to as “big”. This airport was even smaller than Burbank’s, which is saying a lot when you consider that it’s the ONLY airport in the vicinity, and services thousands of tourists a MONTH. How they could accomodate that many even in a YEAR was beyond my comprehension. But accomodate they did, and I learned eventually to appreciate and admire it, for my own attempt at creating an airport never led to even one tenth of what the Kailua-Kona airport represented to this island nation.

“Big”? There was more to it than that. The roads were big, and the large black chunk of cooled-down lava were big, bigger than you imagine them to be. No. There’s more. The meal portions. Fair mediocre. Espeically at chains; could not have expected much more there.

So why then? Why “BIG”? It was simple. “BIG” was their word for “LOVE.” The “LOVE ISLAND.” Much more satisfying.